Barmy Army Songbook

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Songbook

King of the Swingers (Matthew Hoggard)

(To the tune of The Jungle Book Song)

Now Hoggy's the King of the swingers, An England VIP
He has a bowl, we have a song, The Aussies out by tea
Oohh Oohh Oohh, I wanna bowl like you-ou-ou
Don't wanna bat like you, just bowl like you do-o-o
Oh yeah it's true-ue-ue
I wanna bowl like you-ou-ou
Don't wanna bat like you, just bowl like you-ou-ou.

Langer Is An Aussie (Justin Langer)

Langer is an Aussie
He wears the gold and green
He is the biggest whinger
That we have ever seen

He wasn't very happy
When we called Brett Lee's no ball
He's got a very big mouth
And he's only five feet tall

Michael Vaughan My Lord (Michael Vaughan)

(To the tune of Kum By Yah)

Michael Vaughan my Lord, Michael Vaughan
Michael Vaughan my Lord, Michael Vaughan
Michael Vaughan my Lord, Michael Vaughan
Ohh Lord Michael Vaughan

My name is Shaun Pollock (Shaun Pollock)

(To the tune of Da Do Ron Ron)

My name is Shaun Pollock and I cannot count
One more run run, one more run
I miscalculated and we got knocked out
One more run run, one more run

Oh I had a panic attack
Oh and I got the sack
Oh we needed one more run
One more run run, one more run

Shane Warne is an Aussie (Shane Warne)

(To the tune of My Old Man's A Dustman)

Shane Warne is an Aussie
He wears a baggy cap
He's got a Nike earing
He looks an Aussie prat
He's got his little flipper
He's got his box of tricks
But when he bowls to Freddie
He gets knocked for six.

Shane Warne is an Aussie Part 2 (Shane Warne)

(To the tune of My Old Man's A Dustman)

Shane Warne is a druggie
He should be in rehab
He took his mummy's little pill
To try and lose the flab
He took it to lose weight
From all the pies and beer
But when the ICC found out
He got banned for a year

(Courtesy of Bernie Silvester)

Shane Warne's Villa (Shane Warne)

(To the tune of Amarillo)

Show me the way to Shane Warne's Villa
He's got his diet pills under his pilla
A dodgy bookie from Manila
Nursey's on her mobile phone

Repeat x3

La-la lar la-la la-la lar, Fat Git!
La-la lar la-la la-la lar, Take a bung
La-la lar la-la la-la lar,
Warney where's your mobile phone?

(Courtesy of Gary Taylor)

Sidebottom, Sidebottom (Ryan Sidebottom)

(To the tune of Robin Hood)

Sidebottom, Sidebottom
Swings it through the air
Sidebottom, Sidebottom
With his curly hair

He bats at eight or nine
His hat-trick was sublime
Sidebottom, Sidebottom
Sidebottom

Super Steve Harmy (Steve Harmison)

My name is Super Steve Harmy
They all think I'm barmy
I bowl right arm fast for England
England!
When I walk down the street
All the People I meet
They say Hey! Big man!
What's your name?
My name is Super Steve Harmy
Repeat

The Animals Went In Two by Two (Owais Shah)

(to the tune of The Animals Went in Two by Two)

When Owais Shah comes marching in (Owais Owais)
When Owais Shah comes marching in (Owais Owais)
When Owais Shah comes marching in he'll score a ton and England win
Owais Shah is England's number three

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah na na na naaa na na na na na na na.... etc
Owais Shah is England's number three

He's been away on Tours for time (Owais Owais)
But never had a chance to shine (Owais Owais)
And now he'll score off pace and spin - he'll score a ton and England win
Owais Shah is England's number three

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah na na na naaa na na na na na na na.... etc
Owais Shah is England's number three

And now he's in where is the frown (Owais Owais)
He's gone and turned it upside down (Owais Owais)
Its been replaced by a big grin - he'll score a ton and England win
Owais Shah is England's number three

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah na na na naaa na na na na na na na.... etc

The Matthew Hoggard Song (Matthew Hoggard)

Oh how we love!
Our Yorkshire boy
Your Floppy hat
Your Straggly hair
Your Two-cross eyes
Your Loping gait
Your Smelly farts
Your Knobbly knees
Your Pigeon-toes
Your Swing bowling
Your Straight batting
Our Hat-trick boy (Sarwan, Hines and Chanderpaul!)
Our Nightwatchman
Your Twelve wickets

Ohhhhhh, Matty Hoggard, Matty, Matty Hoggard!
Matty Hoggard, Matty, Matty Hoggard!

We've Got Tim Ambrose (Tim Ambrose)

(To the tune of You Are My Sunshine)

We've got Tim Ambrose
Sounds like Ambrosia
They make good custard
Comes in a tin
They make Creamed Rice too
That's not important
Just as long as England win

You've got Chris Martin (Chris Martin)

(To the tune of You Are My Sunshine)

You've got Chris Martin
He's not in Coldplay
He's not had Gwyneth
He cannot sing
He's got no albums
Or record contracts
But he's just as booooooooooooring