Barmy Army Songbook

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A song for the aussies

The Aussies play like my Granddad
They get fired up then go real mad
They can't control their heavy bats
And end up screaming like a cat

So toss it up and watch it sail
Over the ropes like a fairy tail
A cry of anguish from the bowler
Who keeps on getting shorter and shorter

Oh the Aussies can't hit a ball
They're to short and we're to tall
So in your face and watch us lift
The little urn with our fists

Blaydon Races (Graeme Swann)

Oh me Lads, you should've seen Swann going,
Bowling Aussies by the load,
As fast as they could come in,
All the Barmy Army There
We all had smiling faces,
Holding onto the Ashes urn,
With lots of Swanny Wickets.

Campdown Races (James Anderson)

Anderson begins his run,
dot ball, dot ball
taking wickets just for fun
keeps it up all day

They'll have to bat all day
and stay in over night
to stand a chance of winning this match
but do the Aussies have the fight?

Oh, we'll see those wickets begin to fall
and dot ball, dot ball
and when Cook is in, it's a free-for-all
he'll keep it up all day!

He can keep it up all day
and stay in over night
Cook will steer us to another win
and he'll set the ground alight

Dad's Army

So who do you think you are kidding Ricky Ponting,
If you want the ashes back,
We are the boys who will stop your little game,
We are the boys who will make you think again,
Ali Cook comes into bat position number 1,
Not out in the evening and he's got a double ton,
So who do you think you are kidding Ricky Ponting,
If you think old England's done

God Save the Queen (Ricky Ponting)

Poor old Ric-ky Ponting
He is no longer king
The Ashes gone!
We know his team are crap
Can't bowl, can't field, can't bat
He wants the Ashes back
Poor old Ric-ky!!!

It's not unusual (Graeme Swann)

It's not unusual to be bowled by Graham Swann
It's not unusual to be stumped off Graham Swann
But when I see you getting out to Graham Swann
It's not unusual to hear me cheer
Oh I laugh and jeer

It's not unusual to be to be caught off Graham Swann
It's not unusual to play on to Graham Swann
But when I see you walking off from Graham Swann
It's not unusual to hear me shout
Oh I jump about.

MGMT Kids (Craig Kieswetter)

Enjoy yourself
We like to watch you batting
A 6 from Kieswetter
Be haunted

Enjoy yourself
We like to watch you batting
A 6 from Kieswetter
Be haunted

Money Money Money

(To the tune of Money Money Money)

I bat all night, I bowl all day, to pay the bills I have to pay
Ain't it sad
And then Stanford came along he said
That's too bad
In my dreams I have a plan
It will make you a wealthy man
You won't have to work at all, just turn up and smack the ball

Money, money, money
Must be funny
In a Stanford world
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In a Stanford world
Aha-ahaaa
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
In a Stanford world

A man with so much cash, but still he's got a dodgy tache
Ain't it sad
But his wicket's really slow and his floodlights are too low
That's too bad
And please don't flirt with our player's wives
Cos you don't appreciate their cover drives
They win a fortune in your game, but compared to Tests it's really lame

My o My Sri Lanka

During the day when that man ended play we were waiting (la la la la la la la)
For the trumpets to sound as he walked off the pitch to the door (la la la la la la la)
We stood there laughing hahahaha
Three lions are roaring and Sri Lanka will smile no more.

My o my Sri Lanka (la la la la la la la)
Cry cryc cry Sri Lanka (la la la la la la la)
And the ball will see your next batsman fall.
Forgive us Sri Lanka cos England will bowl out them all !!

[insert trumpet solo here]

We stood there laughing hahahaha
The three lions are roaring and Sri Lanka will smile no more.
My o my Sri Lanka (la la la la la la la)
Cry cryc cry Sri Lanka (la la la la la la la)
And the ball will see your next batsman fall.
Forgive us Sri Lanka cos England will bowl out them all !!

Red-nosed captain (Ricky Ponting)

To the Tune of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

"Ricky the red-faced captain
Leads a side in trouble and strife
Both he and Ryan Harris
Couldn't score to save their life

Strauss and his Pommie team mates
Cooky, Bell and Kevin P
Showed how the Aussies are now
The worst team in their history"

Ricky's Lament (Rick Ponting )

Yesterday, all my losses seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, I'm not half the bat I used to be,
Michael Clarke will steal my captaincy,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
Why Pidge couldn't bowl, I don't know, he wouldn't play,
Gilly retired before he was done and Warne's gone, Haydo's ran away.

Yesterday, cricket was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hideaway,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Why Langer had to go, I don't know he wouldn't say,
Huss has something wrong, Warnie's gone, Marto ran away.

Yesterday, I said
"I'll make a ton today",
Now my stars have gone and run away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

SURE KNOW SOMETHING by KISS. (Craig Kieswetter)

No-one can keep
the way that he keeps
he is Craig Kieswetter, Craig Kieswetter.

He hits the ball
and times it so sweet
he is Craig Kieswetter, Craig Kieswetter

To the tune of Fiesta by The Pogues (Eoin Morgan )


Oh Eoin Morgan came from Ireland,
He wore the Shamrock on his chest,
But when he saw Grace gates and he entered Lords,
He knew that England would be best.

And now he's wears the roaring lion,
He's hitting sixes all day long,
He is the ginger prince that we love to see
And that's why we sing this song

Da da da da da, da da da, da da da da, da da da, da da da da da, da da da, Eoin Morgan, he's English now!"